Kayo is a housewife, a mother—and a member of the largest, most secret, exclusive club in Tokyo. A nameless club that has no membership fees and does not seem to exist on paper. Joining the club is not easy; it requires you to be a relentless consumer of fashion, one capable of buying pretty new things with blind obedience and thoughtless lust. As Kayo begins to climb the ranks of this liminal club, so does her credit card bill, until she is paying for her beloved brands with a lot more than just money.
In a society where women are bound by harsh restraints and wield limited power, a restless Kayo is increasingly unable to resist the lure of glamour, and a terrible descent begins.
Joining a club is like entering a love marriage, for here we get to choose. That is why we all want to belong to a club. Until we find our club, our spirit is without anchor and so we feel anxious. The longer it takes for us to find our club, the more anxious we get. Then one day we find the club to which we must belong. No longer do we wander aimlessly through life. We have a purpose. And though the line in front of the entrance may be long, we wait patiently, full of that special energy called gaman, forbearance. When the doors of the club open and our name is finally called, we enter it with pride.
There is, however, one restriction on membership to my club: only women may belong. Men say ladies cannot keep a secret. But it is the men who cannot. My club is the biggest, best-kept secret among all of Tokyo’s secrets. Many of its own members don’t know that they have joined it.
And my club may not be the oldest of Tokyo’s clubs but it is certainly the largest. None of us knows how many members it has. But I see us everywhere—in the metro, in the streets, in the banks and government offices, and in the hospitals. How then, you might ask, do we recognise each other? I cannot speak for the others but I have a gift. I can recognise my sister members at a glance. And they acknowledge me sometimes with a small knowing smile or just a raised eyebrow.
My Beautiful Shadow by Radhika Jha
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